A humbling reminder

Most of you know that Justin and I have been struggling to start our family.  It's been a difficult path, and we were recently referred to Kaiser's infertility clinic.  It's not that we have trouble getting pregnant, we're having trouble staying pregnant.

While I have always put my trust in God, that He has a family in plan for us, and that He will see us through all of these trials.... I was also trusting that these infertility people were going to be able to help us.  WELL, after playing phone tag with them for about a week, I finally got a call back today.

Let me say that we have great insurance.  We are blessed that Justin's job provides us the opportunity to go to Kaiser, who I've had as my insurer most of my life.  With all of the health related problem's I've had lately, I so appreciate that I can get everything taken care of without having to wait for referrals, that I can get lab results (often the same day) online.  That our labs are free.

Even our referral to genetic counseling was covered 100%

BUT, not covered is infertility treatments.  Well, they are covered 50%, which is more than most people have.  With our coverage, our consultation appointment would be $150, which we maybe could have scraped together.  After that, appointments run around $500!  That means it would be $1,000 for people without coverage!  Even if it was $100 for each appointment, that would be beyond our reach at this point.

I was so very depressed and angry after getting off the phone.  But I realized, we were trusting too much in man and science, and not enough that God will provide for us.

I'm not saying that we should just wait around for a baby to magically appear on our doorstep, that's not how it works.  We will still try to have our own baby, until I feel that my body, heart, and soul can't take it any longer.  We can still work with our amazing ob/gyn Dr. Worden and with the genetic counselors who are covered under our plan to try to figure things out.

But we are also officially opening the door for adoption.

Because we don't have thousands of dollars to go through an agency, we will be working with Riverside County.

And we're trusting in God to give us the baby we're supposed to have, whether it's home grown or grown by someone else for us.

You can absolutely expect future posts on this subject, I've heard some frustrating stories from people who went through the county, but I'm confidant it's the path we're supposed to take.

I know I'm not one to casually throw Bible verses around, and if it's not your thing stop reading now.  But Psalm 146 speaks exactly to what I was reminded of this morning.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord, my soul.

² I will praise the Lord all my life;
    I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
³ Do not put your trust in princes,
    in human beings, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.

⁶ He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them—
    he remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed
    and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
⁸     the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
    the Lord loves the righteous.
⁹ The Lord watches over the foreigner
    and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
    but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

¹⁰ The Lord reigns forever,
    your God, O Zion, for all generations.

Praise the Lord.